At What Age Can a Child Choose Which Parent to Live With in Ontario?
There is no age in Ontario at which a child gets to choose which parent to live with. A judge decides parenting arrangements based on the best interests of the child, and the child's views and preferences are one factor in that test, given more weight as the child grows older and more mature. A child's views usually come before the court indirectly, through the Office of the Children's Lawyer, a Voice of the Child Report, or, less often, a private interview with the judge. At 16, a child may withdraw from parental control under Ontario law, and courts rarely make parenting orders for children 16 and older, but that is not a legal right to choose. At 18, a child is an adult and decides where to live.
When Your Child Says They Want to Live With the Other Parent
It often starts with one sentence, at the dinner table or in the car: “I want to live with Dad.” Or Mom. For the parent hearing it, the moment can bring hurt, worry, or hope, along with an urgent question about what the law lets a child decide.
Many parents have heard that a child gets to choose at age 12 or 14. Ontario law sets no such age. What it does is give children a real voice in decisions about their lives, and structured ways for that voice to be heard without putting the child in the middle.
This guide explains how Ontario family law treats a child's wishes, how those wishes come before a judge, what changes at age 16 and 18, and what you can do next.
Quick Start: Which Situation Are You In?
Find your situation below.
Read what the law says and how a child's views are heard. Do not change the schedule on your own; an existing order or agreement still applies.
Start with what the law says, then the section on a teenager who refuses the schedule.
Read how a child's views come before the court and how to ask for the Office of the Children's Lawyer. You may also want to build a parenting plan with the other parent.
Go straight to the section on what changes at age 16 and 18.
Is There a Fixed Age in Ontario? What the Law Says
The best interests of the child is the legal test that Ontario courts use for every parenting decision: which arrangement best supports this child's safety, stability, and well-being. Section 16 of the federal Divorce Act lists the factors, including “the child's views and preferences, giving due weight to the child's age and maturity, unless they cannot be ascertained.” Section 24 of Ontario's Children's Law Reform Act contains the same factor.
Parents who are divorcing or already divorced typically fall under the Divorce Act. Everyone else falls under the Children's Law Reform Act, and the test is the same.
Decision-making responsibility is the authority to make major decisions about a child's health, education, religion, and activities. Parenting time is the time a child spends in each parent's care. Both terms replaced “custody” and “access,” respectively, in 2021, as our page on parenting time and decision-making responsibility explains.
A court may look at the child's maturity, how consistent the views are, the reasons behind them, and whether they are the child's own rather than the result of pressure. Those views sit alongside the other best-interests factors, such as stability and any history of family violence.
In Ontario, a child's views and preferences are one factor in the best-interests test, not a deciding vote, and no birthday gives a child the legal right to choose where they live.
| The belief | What Ontario law says |
|---|---|
| ✗At age 12, a child chooses where to live. | ✓Ontario sets no fixed age. A child's views are one factor in deciding the child's best interests. |
| ✗At age 14, the child's choice is final. | ✓A child's views typically carry more weight as the child matures, but the judge still decides. |
| ✗A birthday changes the parenting order. | ✓An order or agreement stays in place until the parents change it in writing or a court changes it. |
| ✗At age 16, a child can choose which parent to live with. | ✓A child 16 or older may withdraw from parental control (CLRA s. 65). That is not a right to set or change a parenting order. |
| ✗Until age 18, a child has no say. | ✓A court considers a child's views and preferences whenever they can be ascertained. |
How Your Child's Views Get to the Judge
The Office of the Children's Lawyer (OCL) is a government law office within Ontario's Ministry of the Attorney General that can represent children in family cases. It may assign a lawyer for the child, generally for older children and youth, a clinician who meets the family and writes a report for the court, or both.
A Voice of the Child Report is a short report, prepared by a trained professional after meeting with the child, that records what the child says about the issues in the case. It typically makes no recommendation and may be prepared through the OCL or by a private practitioner the parents hire.
Under section 64 of the Children's Law Reform Act, a judge may also interview a child, usually in private rather than in the courtroom. This is used sparingly. Whichever route is used, the OCL does not decide the case. The court decides what is in the child's best interests.
| Channel | Who prepares it | What the court receives | Recommendations | How it starts |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| OCL lawyer for the child | A lawyer from the Office of the Children’s Lawyer, generally for older children and youth | A position taken on the child’s behalf that includes the child’s wishes; no written report | Takes a position | Court request, then OCL acceptance |
| OCL clinician report | An OCL clinician, usually a social worker, generally for younger children | A written report after meeting with the family | May include parenting recommendations | Court request, then OCL acceptance |
| Voice of the Child Report | An OCL clinician or a private practitioner the parents hire | A short report of what the child says | Typically none | Court order to the OCL, or the parents’ agreement |
| Judicial interview | The judge (CLRA s. 64) | The judge’s own conversation with the child, usually in private | Not applicable | The judge’s discretion |
How to Ask for the Office of the Children's Lawyer
You can raise the request at your next court appearance, such as a case conference, or by bringing a motion beforehand. After the order is made, each parent completes a separate OCL intake form within 14 days.
The OCL typically takes several weeks to make a decision. It may decline where, for example, the main purpose of the request appears to be gathering evidence for the case, or where other ways of resolving the dispute have not been tried. If it declines, a parent may ask it in writing to reconsider.
Your own sworn evidence still matters. Parenting claims require a Form 35.1 parenting affidavit, which sets out your plan for the child and any safety information.
What Changes at Age 16 and Age 18
Withdrawing from parental control means a teenager voluntarily leaves the family home and lives outside both parents' authority. It is a serious step. A 16-year-old who leaves home may face hard questions about housing, school, and money, and the move can affect other legal issues between the parents.
For a 16- or 17-year-old who stays at home, courts typically give settled views substantial weight. Even so, the parents' order or agreement continues to apply until it is changed. Support is a separate question, and it does not always end at 18, as our guide to child support after 18 explains.
When Your Teenager Refuses to Follow the Schedule
If your teenager refuses to go, talk calmly about the reasons and keep the other parent informed. Some refusals pass. Others point to something real, such as a conflict, a schedule that no longer fits, or a safety concern.
If the arrangement needs to change, the most reliable route is a written agreement or a consent order, which is an order a judge makes on terms both parents accept. Where you cannot agree, a court can decide.
If the other parent is keeping the child from you, that is a different problem, covered in our guide to enforcing a parenting order. If a child or parent is in immediate danger, call 911.
Common Mistakes Parents Make
- •Asking your child to pick a parent. The question places a child in the middle of the conflict, and a neutral professional is usually better placed to hear them out.
- •Telling your child it is their decision. Promising a choice at a certain age sets up an expectation the law does not support.
- •Coaching or rewarding a preference. A court may give less weight to views that seem influenced and may consider the parent's conduct.
- •Assuming a birthday changes the order. An order or agreement stays in place until it is changed in writing or by a court.
- •Switching homes informally. An unwritten change can leave both parents unsure of where they stand, so put new arrangements in writing.
- •Having your child write to the judge. Courts are often cautious about statements a child prepares at a parent's request, so ask about the proper channels instead.
Frequently Asked Questions
My child is 12 years old. Can they decide which parent to live with in Ontario?
Does my child have to go to court or talk to the judge?
How do I get a Voice of the Child Report in Ontario?
Do we have to pay for the Office of the Children's Lawyer?
My 14-year-old wants to move in with the other parent. What should I do?
Can my 16-year-old move out without our permission in Ontario?
Should I ask my child which parent they want to live with?
Talk to a Family Lawyer About Your Child's Views
Ontario sets no age at which a child chooses a home. Your child's views matter, and they typically matter more as your child grows, but a judge or the parents' own agreement makes the decision, guided by the child's best interests. There are calm, structured ways for those views to be heard.
Qasim Ali, Principal Lawyer at Nihang Law, and our family law team help parents across Toronto, Scarborough, Brampton, and the wider GTA work through these questions. When you are ready, book a consultation and we can talk through your options.
Speak with our family law team
If your child has raised where they want to live, we can help you understand your options and the right next step.
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About the author
Qasim Ali
Principal Lawyer · Nihang Law Professional Corporation · Toronto & Scarborough, Ontario · Law Society of Ontario
Qasim Ali is the Principal Lawyer at Nihang Law Professional Corporation, serving clients across Toronto, Scarborough, and the broader Greater Toronto Area. He provides full-service legal representation across immigration, real estate, family law, criminal law, civil litigation, employment law, wills and estates, and business law.
Nihang Law is particularly recognized for its depth in immigration and real estate law — a combination that serves newcomers and growing families navigating both legal systems simultaneously.
Learn more about Qasim Ali →Sources & References
- Children's Law Reform Act, R.S.O. 1990, c. C.12, ss. 24, 64, 65 (best interests; views and preferences; judicial interview; withdrawal from parental control at 16) — https://www.ontario.ca/laws/statute/90c12
- Divorce Act, R.S.C. 1985, c. 3 (2nd Supp.), s. 16 (best interests of the child; s. 16(3)(e) views and preferences) — https://laws-lois.justice.gc.ca/eng/acts/d-3.4/section-16.html
- Divorce Act, R.S.C. 1985, c. 3 (2nd Supp.), s. 2(1) (“spouse” includes a former spouse in ss. 15.1 to 16.96, the parenting provisions) — https://laws-lois.justice.gc.ca/eng/acts/D-3.4/page-1.html
- Department of Justice Canada — The Divorce Act Changes Explained: child's views and preferences, s. 16(3)(e), in force March 1, 2021 — https://justice.gc.ca/eng/fl-df/cfl-mdf/dace-clde/div55.html
- Courts of Justice Act, R.S.O. 1990, c. C.43, ss. 89, 112 (Children's Lawyer; investigation and report) — https://www.ontario.ca/laws/statute/90c43
- Government of Ontario — The Office of the Children's Lawyer in family law (updated March 19, 2025) — https://www.ontario.ca/page/office-childrens-lawyer-family-law
- Government of Ontario — Clinician services and clinical reports — https://www.ontario.ca/page/clinician-services-and-clinical-reports
- Department of Justice Canada — Views of the Child Reports in Canada: Findings (OCL services publicly funded and court-ordered) — https://justice.gc.ca/eng/rp-pr/jr/vcpscpt-pvepsocpt/findings-resultats.html
- Government of Ontario — Parenting time, decision-making responsibility and contact — https://www.ontario.ca/page/parenting-time-decision-making-responsibility-and-contact